Wangsta

happy bday john wang (: i get so tired. i'm slowly declining. coffee cant even keep me up anymore. i'm like an old engine that has 100,00 miles + on it. i'll still run but not at its fullest potential. slowly going awayyy. i dont know how much longer i can last. people dont even know who i am and they can just judge me. they dont think highly of me. they think they're better than me. i thought all men were created equal. social status is superfluous now. its who you are, not what you are. i dont need to flaunt to be who i am. i keep it on the down lowww. sometimes i feel like i'm so restricted, but my parents now what they're doing. its all for the better. i know it. i can tell. for a scholarship app, i was asked for family income. i dont even know how much my parents make. it doesn't matter to me though that my mom has become so high in position. she deserves it because she worked her way up. she doesnt want me to know our income because she thinks once i know, i'll be flamboyant. she just said, i can retire right now and go take a vacation for the rest of my life. geez whats that supposed to mean? i dislike people being materialistic. it gets the best of us. nice cars. nice clothes. nice shoes. newest technology. newest releases. newest everything. i admit i'm a bit materialistic sometimes. i try to keep it at a minimum though. sometimes i say 'oh, he has a nice car. or nice shoes' but thats because its probably a passion. you wouldn't know how hard it is to make money until you actually worked yourself. it really isn't that easy. mortgage, utilities, bills, gas. your whole salary's gone!
on another note,
everyday, i go to sleep feeling that i've tried my best. i really do. i never give up. its just fuel to my fire. you piss me off. i'm even more driven. you dont think i can. i will prove to you i can. you look down on me. you just threw a huge log into my fire. and boy is it burninggg. i just want to be appreciated for the things i do. maybe a thank you once in a while. gracias if two words is too much for you. everything i do, its just to please other people. i jsut think: if they're happy, i'm happy. i dont mind pleasing others, its just that i dont even deal with myself first. i feel like shit. i dont even take care of myself. i'm an engine whose been slacking on oil changes. why cant people see the good in me? people always start with the negatives. i can never please anyone. there's always something i do wrong. okay. i'm done rantingg

wadif i did this for all my posts?! no pics. no songs. no vids. can i say b-o-r-i-n-g? oh yeah you guys dont care.